I’m still looking for a job after a week. This does not disturb me, but I’m starting to get bored. I’m absolutely sick of Monster.com telling me that I need to go to ITT to further my career, because they are just lying. I also get sick of getting e-mails for people who want me to go door to door and sell some form of animal shit in a glad-ware container. The other great innovation in employment recruiting is making the job description not match the job at all; so instead of “calling people during their dinner to try and get them to buy a third mortgage for you,” it becomes something like, “maintaining relationships through the use of technology.”
Here are some of the best jobs that I have found on the internet. First, a Mature, Professional, and Efficient Medical Collector. This job sounds like the guy who transports medical waste around, but it is a data entry job that also proudly displays that having a high school degree is optional for the position. In reality this is a job where you need to get money from little old ladies late on making a doctor payment.
Another one lists itself as an Inside Sales Specialist where you can, “open up your own business within ours.” Only professionalism is needed, no sales experience required, and really no experience at all is required. Translation: 100% commission sales possibly in a retail store, maybe witnessing and living off of the tips.
Finally the job that takes the cake is a “games technician” which seems like an exciting career in playing Dungeons & Dragons, or beta testing video games. Instead it requires you to be able to fix small engines, have basic welding skills, and be able to repair air conditioning. There is no game that I have ever heard of that need that skill set. The hapless person that gets this job needs to work, “day shifts and night shifts,” and “weekends and holidays,” which means they will be always working. This sounds like some loser character in a crazy LARP game that runs 24/7.
