Vorpal Garbage Truck +4 against Pedestrians

E3 is going on now and it is a gamer’s wet dream because it has all the information about new video games, women wearing next to nothing, wannabe actors (and future porn-stars) dressed up as your favorite video game characters. Oh, and only industry are allowed in which means there is a good chance that you are not there. They announced a new Cell-Phone game, “Paris Hilton Jewel Jam” and this has nothing to do with singer/wanna-be pet Jewel either (though that would be crazy!!). The rumors are true, Paris Hilton has a puzzle game named after her, it must be the easiest puzzle game of all time. I’m expecting something like matching same colored gems together, but having only one color. This game is going to save the world, future generations will forgo war and play “Paris Hilton’s Jewel Jam” to settle disputes both personal and international. Hell right now we nee to challenge the enemies of the United States to play this game. Thank you Paris Hilton, I’m still not sure what you do but thank you.