Slippers, God's greatest invention

The other day this week I went to the Tommy Bahama store and bought myself a good pair of slippers. After all when I buy Tommy Bahama I expect just about the best. So today, after wearing them twice they were already developing a hole. So like any good consumer I understood that there were defects in products, it is impossible to have zero defects (thank you cost accounting!!). So I returned them today and was planning to buy another set of slippers at the Tommy Bahama store that I liked, and were on sale Sunday. They were not on sale and were almost $100, which really is too much for a pair of slippers unless they were encrusted with diamonds. Even those slippers would not be worth it because they would be uncomfortable.

The slipper is a grand invention; it is flat with a strap that connects around the foot and between the big toe and the Lt General Toe. It stays on, is comfortable, and the best part is that in Hawaii it is completely kosher to wear them all the time. There is only one problem with slippers. Some people insist on wearing them with socks, and some others even hike the sock up. I sow someone with a pair of slippers on today that had their sock pulled up to their knees.

Now there are exceptions, the Japanese have slippers that are meant to be in use with special socks that allow the strap to be in between the toes. Not wearing socks is the primary function of the slipper. Therefore wearing socks with slippers is going against every law of nature, God, and all of humanity. This leads to the fallibility of the human race even making laws because there is no human law that I know of that disallows the use of socks and slippers, let alone the death penalty for said perpetrators.