The 6 best Holiday Movies of all Time

Here is my list for the 6 best Christmas movies ever.

6) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

One must not forget how family conflict is a mainstay of the holidays. Mr. Chase has been an expert as displaying this conflict in a lighthearted manner in all of his vacation movies, but this one is by far the best. The family has to deal with the in-laws of each other’s family, the black sheep of the family, and of course the ever looming presence of the dried out turkey. As an added bonus the issue of greedy corporations is delt with when the Christmas bonus has been cut. People now may wonder what a Christmas bonus is, they can watch this movie to understand that American Corporations gave up on that idea. The best scene in this movie is William Hickey who steals the scene in every movie that he’s in. He blows himself up, and after all what is more Christmas than self-sacrifice!

5) Love Actually

A British Christmas from the angle of a love struck best friend, a love struck child, a love struck author, two love struck porn stars, a horny husband, a horny Americaphile, and Mr. Bean. The added bonus is the sad story of an old rock start that finds the true meaning of Christmas, and a few other stories too. This isn’t just a great Christmas story, but may be one of the best love stories of all time. The Christmas spirit of giving your love is presented in great detail here, and the consequences of giving too much love. And the big kicker, this movie made me want to learn Portuguese for a split second.

4) Scrooged

Bill Murray, and that should say enough. This is a good reminder that he can play a pretty bad guy, which he does with great success in this movie. This lovable take of Charlie Dickins classic tale of ghosts, greed, and Christmas, and it all takes place during a production of A Christmas Carol. Really though, this was Bill Murray making a Christmas movie, and like most things that Bill Murray touches turns to gold. This is a laugh out loud movie, but for me it can only be watched during Christmas time.

3) A Christmas Story

A loveable tale about a child who wants a weapon of mass destruction, his red rider BB gun. Just kidding, really though a BB gun is a lovable toy for boys of all ages. It has sported famous lines like, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” “Don’t touch that turkey, you’ll get worms,” and “How about a nice football?” I also suspect this movie is responsible for saving millions of children the embarrassment of sticking their tongue on a flagpole. This Christmas Story transcends time and space, it takes place long ago and in Indiana. The wonderful childhood memories for millions of children are set in this movie, and allow those children to think that they are not alone.

2) Elf

Will Farrell was not my favorite SNL star. He makes great movies though and this movie is just plain fucking awesome, though one of the few movies where he does not show his ass that is a bonus in this movie. It has all the traditional villains, the man on the “Naughty List” (and a South Pole Elf), the babe, the person who believes in the everlasting power of Christmas. You also get to see what happen to Steve Martin’s wife after Parenthood and moving to New York. The ultimate moral of this tale is that children do understand when there isn’t an end to a story, greed is one of the seven deadly sins, and that being a child for the rest of your life can still net you a beautiful wife and riches (just like my life). Elf is the new standard for Christmas Movies.

1) The Lord of the Rings

Now some of you are wondering what this movie has to do with Christmas, well this long movie (broken up into three parts) came out during the holiday season. This movie will not spread any Yule tide cheer, but it is a great fucking movie. All around the best holiday season movie ever. If you don’t like this line of reasoning, then Elf would be the best movie, and that is why it is the 6 best movies and not a nice round number like 5.