The 6 best Holiday Movies of all Time

Here is my list for the 6 best Christmas movies ever.

6) National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

One must not forget how family conflict is a mainstay of the holidays. Mr. Chase has been an expert as displaying this conflict in a lighthearted manner in all of his vacation movies, but this one is by far the best. The family has to deal with the in-laws of each other’s family, the black sheep of the family, and of course the ever looming presence of the dried out turkey. As an added bonus the issue of greedy corporations is delt with when the Christmas bonus has been cut. People now may wonder what a Christmas bonus is, they can watch this movie to understand that American Corporations gave up on that idea. The best scene in this movie is William Hickey who steals the scene in every movie that he’s in. He blows himself up, and after all what is more Christmas than self-sacrifice!

5) Love Actually

A British Christmas from the angle of a love struck best friend, a love struck child, a love struck author, two love struck porn stars, a horny husband, a horny Americaphile, and Mr. Bean. The added bonus is the sad story of an old rock start that finds the true meaning of Christmas, and a few other stories too. This isn’t just a great Christmas story, but may be one of the best love stories of all time. The Christmas spirit of giving your love is presented in great detail here, and the consequences of giving too much love. And the big kicker, this movie made me want to learn Portuguese for a split second.

4) Scrooged

Bill Murray, and that should say enough. This is a good reminder that he can play a pretty bad guy, which he does with great success in this movie. This lovable take of Charlie Dickins classic tale of ghosts, greed, and Christmas, and it all takes place during a production of A Christmas Carol. Really though, this was Bill Murray making a Christmas movie, and like most things that Bill Murray touches turns to gold. This is a laugh out loud movie, but for me it can only be watched during Christmas time.

3) A Christmas Story

A loveable tale about a child who wants a weapon of mass destruction, his red rider BB gun. Just kidding, really though a BB gun is a lovable toy for boys of all ages. It has sported famous lines like, “You’ll shoot your eye out!” “Don’t touch that turkey, you’ll get worms,” and “How about a nice football?” I also suspect this movie is responsible for saving millions of children the embarrassment of sticking their tongue on a flagpole. This Christmas Story transcends time and space, it takes place long ago and in Indiana. The wonderful childhood memories for millions of children are set in this movie, and allow those children to think that they are not alone.

2) Elf

Will Farrell was not my favorite SNL star. He makes great movies though and this movie is just plain fucking awesome, though one of the few movies where he does not show his ass that is a bonus in this movie. It has all the traditional villains, the man on the “Naughty List” (and a South Pole Elf), the babe, the person who believes in the everlasting power of Christmas. You also get to see what happen to Steve Martin’s wife after Parenthood and moving to New York. The ultimate moral of this tale is that children do understand when there isn’t an end to a story, greed is one of the seven deadly sins, and that being a child for the rest of your life can still net you a beautiful wife and riches (just like my life). Elf is the new standard for Christmas Movies.

1) The Lord of the Rings

Now some of you are wondering what this movie has to do with Christmas, well this long movie (broken up into three parts) came out during the holiday season. This movie will not spread any Yule tide cheer, but it is a great fucking movie. All around the best holiday season movie ever. If you don’t like this line of reasoning, then Elf would be the best movie, and that is why it is the 6 best movies and not a nice round number like 5.

Chicago is Cold this time of year

Well I’m back in Chicago. Yesterday I spent the day with my family and it was below zero. There is snow on the ground. But it has been sunny with a few wisps of clouds in the sky, so in a sick way it is just like Honolulu. I woke up this morning, and started doing some homework just like home. I have a load of homework to do during the break, that is a big problem because I wasn’t planning on doing any sort of homework besides Japanese during the break. I’m giving in to that.

The BBC and the Associated Press have reported that a number of Saddam loyalists have been released by the United States military. Included in the people release are Salih Mahdi Ammash and Rihab Rashid Taha who were in charge of Saddam’s biological weapons program. Humam Addel Khaleq who was in charge of Saddam’s nuclear weapon program. These three people do have knowledge to use chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons. Now they have left Iraq and will quickly relocated themselves somewhere where the United States can not find them. Will these people decide to settle in another country and pass their remaining days on the porch smoking a pipe or will they quickly disappear and work against their avowed enemy the United States. Whoever decided that this was a good idea was a fucking idiot.

This was a move to appease the Shiites, who really don’t like us. Al Qaeda is made up of Shiites, now we have given them a group of people who hate the United States that are proficient in the use of deadly weapons. We can now check national security off the list of things that the United States is doing in Iraq. Of course the administration will try and convince people that it is in our best interests to allow these new terrorists loose, and some people will believe them. Let us face it, Bush is not looking out for America’s best interest when he did this, but he is helping the oil companies by prematurely settling a dispute now in response to terrorist attacks later.

Aloha means hello & good-bye

Cassie and I are getting our final preparations together before we take our flight. We have been gathering foodstuffs, dried Ika, Katsu Curry, Iso Peanuts, and of course Wasabi Mochi. These are all the things that have become the staple of our diet in Hawaii that can not be found without extensive looking in the Chicago area.

Over all the semester has been a success. I got a grade that I feels reflects my effort in Japanese class, which does not look like is going to happen in my cost accounting class. I’ll be in the air in ten hours. Aloha!!

I want to praise Senator McCain for aggressively pushing for banning torture. I would like to thank him for having some common sense that seems so lacking in the United States government today. These are the people that the American people trust to run things correctly, but too many people in it have fucked things up beyond belief. I truth many of them are nothing but cry babies that wear suits and are allowed press conferences when they don’t get their way. There seems to be two ways to deal with the crybabies. First the “traditional” method, because we’re talking politics here we’ll call it the Republican method”, this involves smacking a lawmaker every time they are holding a public event where they are complaining. The second and more liberal method, the “Democratic Method” is ignorance. Don’t allow the whiny press conferences. Let them cry it out in isolation in their office.

A BIG “Fuck You” to the Bush administration (notice a common theme?). In response to the Legislative branch’s reasonable request to ban torture Attorney General Alberto Gonzales announced that the Bush administration will define torture any way they want. Pulling fingernails out? That will be “aggressive clipping”. The Rack? That will be “aggressive massaging” The Iron Maiden will be subjecting them to good 80s music (along with the Debbie Gibson). In addition the Pentagon changed their field manual on interrogation techniques. What are these new techniques, well that is classified, but I have not found denials from the Pentagon that there is no torture in these manuals. In truth though the Pentagon would be idiotic to include torture techniques in the new manual because IT WILL be leaked to the press eventually. In addition the White House pushed and got a provision that allows the defense of CIA agents by responding that they were following orders. Wasn’t this the primary Nazi defense? It was laughable then as it is now. Just ban Torture, ban anyone from doing it and ban anyone from ordering it in the government.

Another “Fuck You” to the president who has ordered the NSA to spy on Americans on American soil with out warrants. Does bush piss on the constitution every night before he goes to sleep. Does the rest of the administration watch this bizarre ritual, or do they join it? Yes, the Bush administration and his groupies are going to defend themselves by saying that we’re at “war” and we need to protect the American people, etc. This is all bull. We have laws for a reason, we have civil liberty protection for a reason, and at some point we become as bad as the regimes that we oppose when we threaten our own people with surveillance and use their methods for interrogation.

Canada = You get Healthcare

In 24 hours, barring delay, Cassie and I will be on a plane heading east, to San Francisco. I hear that there is gold there. We’re going to get a plot and mine for gold! Then we will head to Chicago and start a department store! There is money to be had everyone. It has bee a tough long “semester” I went through nine classes (two of them Japanese) and I even catch a word or two of Japanese when I watch their crazy animation.

I want to give a big “fuck you” to David Wilkins, the United States Ambassador to Canada. When he got nominated he really wasn’t sure where Canada was, in an interview with the Canadian BBC he mentioned that he had been to Canada once before, the part that was next to Indiana. Now even for most Americans that was a big “what the fuck,” as every other American knows Canada is America’s hat, and does not border Indiana. Tuesday Ambassador Wilkins threatened the Canadians by telling them to watch what they say about the United States. What an empty threat, we can’t invade Canada at least not until we get out of Iraq.

American Music Awards: an award you can piss on

I don’t understand the American Music Awards and have made a decision that of all the music awards shows this is the worst. Even some guy in a basement making his decisions about music from a talking tree has more expertise about music than the people over at the AMA. Here is an example: Black Eye Peas won for best Pop/Rock group artist. I don’t have a problem with the Black Eye Peas, in fact Cassie is rather fond of them, but here’s the kicker… they also won for best Rap/ Hip Hop artist. It doesn’t end there, Mariah Carey got nominated for best female artist in the Pop/Rock category (but lost) and won for best female artist in the Soul/ Rhythm and Blues category; in addition she got nominated for best album in the Pop/Rock category. 50 Cent got nominated for best Pop/Rock artist (but lost) and also lost for best Rap/ Hip Hop best artist, and won for best Rap/ Hip Hop album. Green Day is another artist that got nominated and won in multiple categories (Rock/ Pop and Alternative). What is the point of having different categories if they can not place artists in one of them. This isn’t a debate if you can categorize music or not, if you choose to categorize music then follow the catorgories.

Sickness Sucks

Sickness begins with an S and sucks begins with S. I’m sick and it sucks. I had my marking final and my Japanese final and the entire time my nose has been running snot over everything. The pressure in my head is building up to and eminent explosion, first my teeth are going to fly out of my mouth, then more snot will fly from my nose. Then beware everyone around me because fireball of snot will cover them all in mucus.

In a way I think that it would be good to be sick, with the exception that it interferes with my studying, but at least when I’m on vacation in Chicago and Las Vegas then I won’t be sick. Though now that I think about it there probably is a different strain of the flu in Chicago.

For now though I'm pretty much done with classes. I have only Organizational Behavior to do (and wrapping gifts and holiday cards). I'm pretty much done with Organizational Behavior now and only need to continue participation. I'm in Organizational Behavior right now, but I'm not participating.

A tale of gun runners and superpowers

During the fall of the Soviet Union Victor Bout had decided there must have been a way for the chaos to benefit him. He was a former pilot in the Soviet military and he realized that he had valuable skill. He began to buy transport aircraft from the Soviet military, he registered all the aircraft in many different nations, like Liberia and the Central African Republic, who had few rules governing their aircraft. Bout then shipped arms and other weapons around the world, his primary customers were the Hutu rebels in Rwanda, the UNITA movement in Angola, Al Qaeda, and many repressive regimes. One of his most important clients was the Taliban, his weapons were responsible for killing civilians, French solders in the Congo, and Americans in Afghanistan. In return he got conflict diamonds and many other good from groups and nations that were sanctioned.

The Taliban placed Bout in charge of maintaining their air fleet and ran weekly runs into the country to supply them with weapons and ammunition.

After 9/11 in February the Belgian government with Interpol issued a warrant for his arrest. Bout was in Moscow and was declaring his innocence on the radio while the government was denying that he was in Russia. He even does interviews.

Here is where it becomes interesting. The United States government was outsourcing most of the Iraq War and one area that was in desperate need for help was transportation and logistics. Who does President Bush hire, well Victor Bout. In return for providing transportation needs Bout is allowed to refuel his planes on American military bases in Iraq for free. Currently his operation supplies the American troops, and supplies anyone who wants to pay him for weapons (including Iraqi insurgents) and all this is partly financed by the American Government.

Giovanni's Hot and Spicy Shrimp

Today was the Honolulu marathon. Over 28,000 marathon runners ran in it starting from right outside our apartment and running to Hawaii Kai. The race started at 5:00, and Cassie and I know because there was a lot of cheering, and my favorite fireworks. Yes, there was a fireworks display at 5 in the morning. It was really our fault though, we should have been up at 5 in the morning, on a Sunday.

Later on Cassie and I took another trip to the North Shore, and today the weather was much better, but I’m feeling under the weather. The beach we went to had 6 to 8 foot waves, so we spent most of the time watching people get battered around by the waves. In a couple of months the waves will be almost 30 feet tall. It was good to spend to spend some time out in the sun.

After we went to Giovanni’s Shrimp Truck which is a mini bus with writing on it that sells shrimp. There are many imitators all over the beaches, but there is only one Giovanni. There are three types of shrimp: garlic, lemon butter, and hot and spicy. The hot and spicy has a warning on it: NO refunds. In retrospect that warning is better than something like: Three fatalities a year from our hot sauce. No matter the warning it was a challenge. I’m thinking about using my warning to get Cassie’s brother to try the hot and spicy when they come up in January.

When things are hot and spicy I place it on one of three levels. First are things that are not too spicy but are challenging enough for most people. There is nothing wrong with this category; most of these things are rather tasty really. Tabasco sauce is in this category. The second category is heat, here things are hot but not that tasty. Heat really is easy to do but people are constantly trying to outdo each other most of the novelty hot sauces are in this category. Finally is the combination of the two, hot and tasty. This is truly difficult to do.

Giovanni’s hot and spicy shrimp is in between the second and third categories. They were rather good, but also hot enough to take away from the taste. Whenever you are on the North Shore stop by there (Cassie got the garlic and it was very good) and accept no substitutes. It was really good with the fresh pineapple that we picked up at a nearby fruit stand.

Happy Holidays

There are advocates within the United States that are pushing for people to work up the "courage" to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays." John Gibson, former news fixer in Fox News and all around ass hole, has even wrote a book called The War on Christmas: How the Liberal Plot to Ban the Sacred Christian Holiday is Worse Than You Thought and Jennifer Giroux who is making green and red wristbands that say "Just Say Merry Christmas." Her beliefs about this issue have sold her over 58,000 wristbands at $2 each. There is one person who will be able to do a little more Christmas shopping this year.

First, anyone that needs to work up the courage to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" has some serious mental issues. Changing two words in your vocabulary does not make courage, keeping cool while people are firing at you takes courage, and so does coming out of the closet in Mississippi. Saying that you need courage to change two words in what you say is a coward's way to make themselves feel better.

Second, it is happy holidays: there is Christmas and New year, and some people even extend it to Thanksgiving. Obviously, these people are advocating prohibiting people from celebrating these holidays.

Syriana

Cassie and I just got back from watching Syriana and getting pancakes (French toast for me). I recommend this movie, I’m sure that it’ll get some awards. Our only complaint was that the person sitting next to Cassie fell asleep and was snoring. That group even had the balls to ask us to move to make enough room for them to sleep. Then the girl behind me decided to give her narration the entire movie, including reading all the subtitles and the street signs. George Cloony would be walking towards a car and I would hear behind me, “Oh, he’s going to the car.” Or Matt Damon would be standing in a desert and there would be a non-hushed voice, “I think they are in the Middle East.” Thank God her boyfriend decided that it wasn’t worth an effort to respond to her, but a shut-up would of helped.

I understand that there may be a segment of the world population that have a sequence in their brain that when there is a movie on in a crowded movie theater their lips need to move and their throat needs to form sounds. I just get the feeling that if I was The Rock people would shut the fuck up around me and let me watch my movie.

Oh, and the french toast was pretty tasty. I haven’t gone out for a 2:00 AM breakfast in years.

Trust Bush, God is on his side...

Some people now know who Ibn al-Shaykh al-Libi is. Mr. Libi was an Al Qaeda official that was captured in Pakistan and the United States handed him over to Egypt. While he was in Egypt he was tortured. During the torture session he gave into pressure and stated that the Iraq government is providing training to Al Qaeda for explosives and chemical weapons. This was reported to the United States. These statements made by Mr. Libi was “evidence” that Iraq was becoming public enemy number one. In January 2004 he retracted his statement claiming that it was made to prevent more torture. Of course by now the United States knew this, because after invading the country they didn’t find any evidence.

Now Dick “Satan” Cheney has been campaigning in the last year to allow the use of torture against terrorists in the custody by the United States. Meanwhile Connie “Peaches” Rice has been touring the world claiming that the United States has not been torturing subjects, is making sure that suspects turned over to other governments are not being tortured, and by the way there are no secret prisons where terrorists are being tortured. She also claimed originally that the Red Cross had access to all prisoners, but she later admitted that she was wrong about that… and no the Red Cross can not see these hidden prisoners who were in hidden prisons. Wait, there are hidden prisons, but there is no torture there, you can trust the United States because we’re trustworthy and God is on our side. Meanwhile Cheney and his minions continue to lobby for the allowed use of torture, but the legislature wouldn’t go for it and reaffirmed the ban on torture.

First, after all this mess in Iraq is partly caused by the United States handing over a suspect to Egypt (who has been known to use torture) and then believed a statement made while he was being tortured. Then in January 2004 the United States administration knew two things, there was no evidence that Al Qaeda wasn’t active in Iraq until we let them flood over the borders to fight us, and that part of the intelligence responsible for the mess was false because the suspect was being tortured. Forward to fall 2005, twenty two months after that later revelation.; Dick “Satan” Cheney and the administration is pushing for legalizing torture because it could get us useful information. After all, people under torture do not lie just to stop the pain. Of course we haven’t been torturing people, but we won’t let anybody check that statement because God is on our side which makes us trustworthy even if you do not know it yet.

The bottom line: the United States administration of George W. Bush has pushed for the use of torture even after information gained from torture got us into the biggest fuck up since Vietnam (maybe before, say Bay of Pigs). The only reason for this is that our administration enjoys torturing people. Meanwhile Mr. Libi and several other suspects in United States custody have disappeared, we have them somewhere but only the administration knows, but they are sure that the world believes them that there is no torture going on. If Bush administration had nails shoved under his fingernails then maybe we could get the truth.

SNOW!!

Today Hawaii got the first snow of the winter season. Now with the snow coming down I could do some cross country skiing, some snow boarding, and snow angels (Hawaiians never forget the snow angels). If I lived on the big island, on top of Mauna Loa there could be a chance that I could do those things. ::Sigh:: maybe in eight days in Chicago.

Democracy has come to the Middle East

Today I had my last accounting class for the program. I thought that the test was rather easy, which means I did really good or really bad. Really though a celebration is in order for getting marketing out of the way. I still have a Japanese final and a marketing final for next week. I tell you, the fun never stops. The word in class is that there is a midterm for my finance class that is going to be take home over my vacation (8 days until I hop a plane back to Chicago).

In this program many of the assignments that they give us are online. Our marketing teacher forgot to upload our assignment for today. This guy is a real piece of work; he has not shown up for two classes (in each case he was called by one of the students). We have not gotten an assignment back, and he has even admitted that he hasn’t read them. This has been the only class that I feel I’m getting nothing out of it, it isn’t that he doesn’t know the material it is just that I feel that he is only teaching to do consulting work and teaching is just bothering him.

In Egypt they had democratic elections. I’m sure that Bush was really happy about that, except like some people have predicted the Muslim Brotherhood won five times more seats than they have. All of the members of the Muslim Brotherhood were to be write in candidates. I praise Egypt for having elections, next time try for better turn out and freer elections without any political parties being banned. Has corruption decreased because of the elections, no, but now the government is five times closer to being hostile towards Israel and the United States.

Our glorious leader Bush has touted the fact that he knows that a democratic Middle East will be peaceful and will praise human rights. Drawing from what has happened in the United States how can he expect others to follow our example. I know that his original reasoning was the Weapons of Mass Destruction, that was proven wrong. Ties to terrorists? Nope. Spreading democracy in the Middle East to make it peaceful and respectful to human rights? Based on the United States, this isn’t going to happen. Egypt has spoken, no there is not a majority fundamentalists in government, but even the Fundamentalist Republicans were a minority at one time, so were the Nazis. I still can not get over the fact that I feel George Bush got us into this war because he thought it was a game that he could play for real.

Give Bush a Wedgie

All day today I studied cost accounting which will be my final class for the program. I will not be taking any more accounting classes which gives me reason to celebrate, after the final tomorrow. Needless to say because accounting is the most boring subject in the world (accountants do not do it better) it is easy to say that today was one of the most boring days in the world. Still at the end of the day Xmas shopping should be completely done and I can start to count down the days until my flight to Chicago (9).

More Cubs News, Garciaparra was not offered arbitration, so that should be it for him. God luck bro!!

Japan has extended the stay of their troops in Iraq. A little history, this was the first time that Japanese troops have been stationed outside of Japan since WW2. The troop deployment is unpopular in Japan, and has shown that the Japanese government will do what the United States requests of them. Japan should show some backbone. Even the British and the Aussies are going to begin to pull out their troops next year. Also in other Iraq News, Bush admitted that rebuilding Iraq has “not always gone as well as we hoped,” which means he is just starting to read the news from right after the invasion. He blames poor security for hampering reconstruction efforts; which is his way of saying that it is the fault of the Iraqis not the United States that reconstruction has failed. Bush is ignoring the issue that only one third of the money appropriated in 2003 has been sent for reconstruction. Those funds are being misappropriated (USAID spent $32,000 for a chauffeur) and most were sent to United States conglomerates who had ties to the White House.

Bush also commented on a speech today that the rebuilding of Iraq is causing more Iraqis to leave the insurgency and join reconstruction. This means that his explanation of why more troops (both American and Iraqi) and civilians are dying at the hand of the insurgents is that they are just better trained, which goes back to asking why the insurgents seem to be getting better trained and the Iraqi army isn’t? Bush also claimed that Iraqis are “learning that democracy is the only way to build a just and peaceful society,” which is his reasoning why the insurgents are not Iraqi (because the Iraqis have discover how great democracy is).

More Cubs Talk

Finally some good news for the Cubs, Juan Pierre is now a Cub (pending the medical approval of course). It is strongly rumored that Milton Bradley will be a Cub by the end of the week. This promotes two questions, can Dusty control Milton Bradley and what is to come of Cory Patterson.

People who have talked with me about baseball have know that I have been a Juan Pierre fan for some time. This is a good acquisition, and the Cubs now have a lead off man. Should they go for Johnny Damon? Not if they get Milton Bradley who would be an excellent number two hitter. Can Dusty control Milton Bradley? I can not answer this, though I think that Milton may have matured a little. My advice, seal the deal or find someone else because things are moving fast this off season. What about Cory Patterson? I still think that he should have another season, but if Milton (or any other outfielder) comes on I don't see it. The Cubs organization has more information than I do. There is no doubt in my mind that Patterson is going to go (maybe for Milton).

Suggested nest step for the Cubs? First seal the deal with Milton. Next make an offer for Kevin Millwood, at least do something to delay him signing with Seattle. If not Kevin Millwood then maybe Kris Benson, though the Cubs may not have anything to offer the Mets. A final move should be to get Garciaparra back. There seemed to be a good relationship, it seems that his injury problems may have been solved, and he has announced that he is willing to be more flexible. Instead of Garciaparra we could continue to try to get Alex Gonzalez but that deal seemed to fall through because he didn't come over with Pierre.

All Hail Microsoft

There was a time not too long ago that I felt that Microsoft was the absolute worst corporation in the world. I have turned a new leaf. Have I sold out? Not really. Simply put looking into the Microsoft issue there isn’t much to hate, instead I feel that there are corporations out there that are bad if not evil. Microsoft is not using child labor, they are not pushing the president to commit continued atrocities in Iraq, and they are not buying resources from dictators that are subjecting their people to torture, starvation, and other atrocities.

Microsoft complaint number one – Bill gates didn’t build an operating system, nor was he able to write one. This is the early complaint about Bill Gates is that Microsoft did not make DOS. They bought the rights for an operating system from Seattle Computing Products. This is nothing but good business on the part of Bill Gates and poor business on the part of Seattle Computing Products. The truth is that Microsoft did what any other business would do, if they can’t make it they will buy it. IBM demanded to have the rights for MS-DOS but Microsoft refused. At the time this was the big bad IBM trying to bully the small Microsoft (how things have changed). In truth there is very little innovation out in the world, everything is built from something else. Remember too the Apple lovers that Jef Raskin developed the Macintosh and at the time Steve Jobs was not interested in a better human interface, and was not interested in an affordable computer.

Microsoft complaint number two – Microsoft has been selling the same product over and over again only with a new wrapper. Two responses to this, the first is that anyone who believes that Windows 3.1 and Windows XP are the same product is crazy, a fool, or both. One is an evolution of the other, but they are different products (like a human is different from a chimp). I’m not saying that Windows is without flaws, there certainly is that, but in today’s world software patches are pretty normal and products are shipped before they are ready all the time. Second, we keep on buying Microsoft products (not all the time actually made by Microsoft). If people kept on buying New Coke, then there wouldn’t be Coke Classic.

Microsoft complaint number three – Microsoft is a monopoly. This means that no one buys Apple computers, no one uses Linux. Many people are upset that IE destroyed Netscape by packaging it with Windows. There isn’t anything wrong with using their marking advantage. The consumer spoke, unfortunately by that time the consumer was the average household and not a career programmer. Microsoft windows being prepackaged in computers is nothing but good marketing. The average person doesn’t want Linux on their computer; they want something familiar and easy to use. Another often heard complaint that Microsoft was so big that any competitor was eaten up by an insidious campaign by Microsoft to bully and pressure the competition into submission. Microsoft has recognized that the average computer user wants something easy to use. The average person could use open source software for all their computing needs, but do they want to learn how to use all that. Simply almost anyone can figure out how to use Windows. Most computer users want an appliance something easy to use and works most of the time.

Why do I feel the need for this rant? Texaco has supported the Burmese government who has routinely used torture on their own people and has held the legitimately elected government in house arrest for over fifteen years. The Burmese government routinely sends their peasants into empty fields to clear out mines (they step on them). Nike has used child labor to make their products. Agricultural companies have knowingly sent out meat products that may be infected, Ford had the Pinto that had known defect that caused them to explode, and so on. Even Dick “Satan” Cheney’s old company Halliburton ripped off every American citizen when they overcharged for meals for the American troops in Iraq.

The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation gave five and a half billion dollars per year to promote global health, including AIDs relief in Sub-Saharan Africa. He has donated over 1 billion dollars of his own money to the cause (by comparison the United States donated 1.2 Billion). On the internet there are more criticisms about Bill Gate than there are about corporations that deserve legitimate criticisms. Everyday corporations violate human rights, aid in illegal trafficking, support suppressive regimes, and other despicable acts. If we focused more of that energy in denouncing corporations that deserve it, instead of Bill gates, it is my belief that the world may become a better place.

I had an "Accident"

It has been a while since my last automobile accident, but today my ten year streak ended when the ass of my 4 Runner slammed into a 40 year old man’s mother’s automobile. Yes, I was trying to be nice and back up my car so another woman could get by a double parked car, then wham! Another car had decided that it could not sit in the parking space any longer and backed up. My ass met his ass, I got nothing and he got another crack. Now everything is in insurance, he even called the police who said that it was no one’s fault. This clearly didn’t satisfy him, but oh well.

Today I saw Guy Kawasaki, a local entrepreneur whose first word of advice was if you want to start a business then don’t do it in Hawaii. This was not what many of the local people want to hear so they continued to ask the same question until he stopped answering it. Really though, this is one of the guys that helped build Apple Computers and is currently a venture capitalist for technology companies. He wasn’t the best speaker, but I recommend his excellent book, The Art of the Start, if you are planning to start your own business. Personally I have not owned my own business, but the book definitely made me want to.

Finally in the bad news department, Furcal signed with the Dodgers leaving the Cubs back to square one. What should the next move for the Cubs be? Well first they need a good lead-off man, and there are a few prospects out there. First Juan Pierre, this will need to be a trade from the Marlins. In reality I think that the Cubs should go for Juan, but use him as a number two guy, he is simply the best bunter in the league and would fit better in second. Who could be the lead off man? There are two options as I see it, the first is Johnny Damon. Give him a deal for six years and see if he bites, he should be good for six more years and the Cubs have the money to spend. The second option is Ichiro, rumor has it that he wants to leave the Mariners. Ichiro may have hit his peak though, but he would come cheaper than Damon. My choice, go for Damon. The Cubs need to make a huge splash in the free agent market. Other moves that I would make would be to get Alex Gonzales from the Marlins (with Juan Pierre). It is expected that John Mabry is going to be signing with the Cubs this week, who would make a good backup outfielder if Cory Patterson chokes again (I think that it’ll be his break out year though). The final move that I would make would be to get another starting pitcher and moving Glendon Rusch to relief. Maybe Kevin Millwood if there is enough money, or Brett Tomko who are both still available. It should be an interesting week, and one that may break the Cub’s next season if they don’t get their donkeys in gear.

North Shore

Today Cassie and I had grand plans to go to the amazing beaches on the north shore of Oahu. This is where Lost is filmed and there are 40 foot waves for the surfers. Then I would do some homework. Well we woke up early and left at 8:00 and started our long scenic trek around the island, despite the weather report of showers. We drove around to the opposite end on the island and it was raining. We stopped at a beach anyway and watched some boogie boarders. From there we went to the Dole pineapple plantation and bought some foodstuffs. There the world’s largest hedge maze awaited us, for a nominal fee that we didn’t feel needed to be extorted out of money. Our next stop was the botanical gardens where we were attacked by biting insects. Finally we made it to a matinee show at a theater within waking distance of our apartment at 12:00.

What this all means is that we drove the furthest amount we could here in Oahu with three stops, and all within four hours. So within two hours were can drive pretty much anywhere we want to.

People who hate their children

Last night Cassie and I went on a short champaign and chocolate cruise. It was interesting to see Honolulu from the Ocean, but we never got any chocolate and that sucked. The tickets were cheap though and there is nothing wrong with that.

This morning we woke up early and went to Hanauma Bay and went snorkeling. It was awesome, and a must go to anyone that is coming to Oahu. The plan should be though to get there early. When we got there it was about 7:30 in the morning and there were not many people there, but it was filling up quickly and people were kicking up sand and scaring all the wildlife away.

Our only complaint about the morning was some ass hole that was there with his two bitches early in the morning. This tourist constantly complained about the video and the lecture about the bay. These things are presented because the bay is a protected site and at one point it was almost destroyed because of all the people coming to it. In my view if you go anywhere then you should respect the environment that you are visiting. To me conservation is too important to pass off because you are in too much of a hurry to watch a eight minute video. In reality these people hate their children because they don’t want to preserve the beauty of places like Hanauma Bay for them to see.

Has anyone noticed that the new round of US Army advertisements only have minorities. It has happened, Operation Hide Behind the Darkies.

Leadership

Today for organizational behavior we needed to list five people that we feel are excellent leaders. Here is my list

1) John F. Kennedy

2) Aung San Suu Kyi

3) Bill Gates

4) Vladimir Lenin

5) Temujin (Genghis Khan)

Slippers, God's greatest invention

The other day this week I went to the Tommy Bahama store and bought myself a good pair of slippers. After all when I buy Tommy Bahama I expect just about the best. So today, after wearing them twice they were already developing a hole. So like any good consumer I understood that there were defects in products, it is impossible to have zero defects (thank you cost accounting!!). So I returned them today and was planning to buy another set of slippers at the Tommy Bahama store that I liked, and were on sale Sunday. They were not on sale and were almost $100, which really is too much for a pair of slippers unless they were encrusted with diamonds. Even those slippers would not be worth it because they would be uncomfortable.

The slipper is a grand invention; it is flat with a strap that connects around the foot and between the big toe and the Lt General Toe. It stays on, is comfortable, and the best part is that in Hawaii it is completely kosher to wear them all the time. There is only one problem with slippers. Some people insist on wearing them with socks, and some others even hike the sock up. I sow someone with a pair of slippers on today that had their sock pulled up to their knees.

Now there are exceptions, the Japanese have slippers that are meant to be in use with special socks that allow the strap to be in between the toes. Not wearing socks is the primary function of the slipper. Therefore wearing socks with slippers is going against every law of nature, God, and all of humanity. This leads to the fallibility of the human race even making laws because there is no human law that I know of that disallows the use of socks and slippers, let alone the death penalty for said perpetrators.

The celebrity that I most resemble

Let me take some time to talk about the hidden danger of plastic surgery. The children of parents who got plastic surgery will think that they are adopted because they do not have the same nose, forehead, or ass as their parent. I have some personal experience with this. For those of you who don’t know me the celebrity that I most resemble is Optimus Prime, but my father looked like Shipwreck from GI Joe. Obviously I thought that I was adopted, but as it turns out my father had extensive plastic surgery to get that look. He even had surgery on our canary to make it look like a parrot.

So those of you who are thinking about plastic surgery please consider the hidden dangers of your choice.

The Village Idiot

Geroge Bush Jr, the president of the United States and village idiot, has been presenting his plan to remove United States troops. So the troops from the United States will return home when…

"When the terrorists and Saddamists can no longer threaten Iraq's democracy, when the Iraqi security forces can provide for the safety of their own citizens, and when Iraq is not a safe-haven for terrorists to plot new attacks on our nation"

… so after two and a half years we have been unable to train an Iraqi army. I need to ask what is wrong with us, are we just lazy. I saw Full Metal Jacket, they were in training for something like 3 months. Using that logic we should have left Iraq in less than a year, say three months to kick ass, another three months to pat each other on the back, and we’ll even give them six months of training.

What I also do not understand is that the United States troops are going to leave after the country is able to provide for their own security and when it is not a safe haven for terrorists. In the end what the village idiot is saying is that the troops will leave when the country is just like it was before we invaded them!!

I should state that I do not think that we should leave Iraq, we need to fix what we break. What needs to be clarified is why the administration felt the need to lie to the world about the reasons for invading Iraq. There were no terrorists until we fucked it up, and there were no weapons of mass destruction. What the administration has said, that everyone believed that there were weapons of mass destruction, is bullshit. The inspectors (remember them) couldn’t find anything and the world believed them. Why else would we go to the United Nations and try to justify our stance?

What needs to be done some self-evaluation, there is obviously something going wrong. That something needs to be fixed. As long as we deny that there is a problem then we need to acknowledge that there is a problem. I believe that is often the first step in alcohol recovery programs. Does this mean that our village idiot isn’t familiar with alcohol recovery? I guess that may make him the drunken village idiot.

Postmodernism, the tower

Today in my organizational behavior class we had a group project to build a tower; in addition my group was also scheduled to present our topic (communication and conflict resolution). The good news, our presentation was awesome. We did an excellent job and bribed everyone with candy. We even got thunderous applause. Well, we didn’t get the applause it was because they fixed the air conditioner. It was fucking hot and humid today and it made me dream of a white holiday season.

The bad news, our tower collapsed, it was made from wood and put together with screws. Our project was to build a tower that would be judged by height, design, durability, and the name. All the materials had to fit in a box whose former job was holding computer paper. The wood was really cheap and cracked with every screw that we put in it. Our first attempt we got it up, it was tall but leaning. We decided to fix the leaning part, that way no one would get hurt by a huge wooden structure falling on them. So we took it down and reinforced it. After putting it back up it collapsed.

No need to worry though, we could salvage some judge points, so we named it postmodernism, the tower is at once the tallest and the shortest and it doesn’t really exist.

We were judged last in ever category, except one judge who saw our tower before it collapsed. I would be sadder if there was a grade for the assignment.

In conclusion, it is a good thing that I’m not building any bridges, skyscrapers, or anything at all.